my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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