we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
