Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
