I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
