i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
