just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
