Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
