just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
