I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
