I molested 6 butterflies tonight
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
