woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
