Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
