did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
