Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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