is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
we're so committed to being not committed
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
