she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
