hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
