at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
