if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
