Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
