Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
