You can't motorboat a personality
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
