Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
