If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
