Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
