Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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