so explain again why im purple
no
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
