I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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