i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
