I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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