So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
