how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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