I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
