piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
