i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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