My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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