You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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