just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
