next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
