the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
