In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
