So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
