My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
