So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
