So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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