the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
