Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
