I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
