he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
