yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
