I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
